Have you been trapped in the polar vortex recently, unable to get any news? Or maybe you’ve purposely tuned out because the cacophony became too much for your delicate sensibilities. Now you find yourself in a jam, with a meeting or social event coming up in which you will be required to have at least some background knowledge on the important issues of the day; from who’s not drinking Coke to who died of heroin and who is the biggest dope in the news right now.
You could spend your day reading multiple sources and viewpoints, but there is no time for that. I’ve comprised a list of every single key issue that will bring you up to speed AND tell you what I think about each issue. Because what’s reporting without editorializing? I wouldn’t know….there are so few examples anymore! But when you need an opinion and you need it fast, I’m your gal.
You could also consider this blog can be a time capsule for future generations to look back on and read through their gas masks while in their nuclear fallout shelters and realize how trivial the problems were in “the good old days.” Many of the issues below are completely asinine and will fade from memory quicker than a Snapchat can self-destruct. But there are a few that have a bit more gravitas. In fact, I’ll rank them in order of completely not-newsworthy to downright heavy, so you can jump in wherever you’d like.
And guess what? If you still feel like you need to express your OWN opinion at the end of the blog, you are in for a treat. Presenting the first ever interactive blog, in which you can chime in with your own thoughts on these captivating topics, which will in no way change my opinion, but make for some interesting stats about who reads this stuff.
Oh Justin, you disappoint me. I used to be a Belieber. I liked you in a non-creepy, wholesome, mom-nostalgic-for-boy-bands kind of way. You reminded me of the innocence in music and childhood. And then you started banging Brazilian hookers on film, egging houses, drinking, driving and acting like an all around spoiled punk with no boundaries and too much money. I don’t know if there is any hope for you. You’ve gotten too much too fast, and that is almost never a happy ending in Hollywood. Even though we all know how much you like happy endings, Justin. America wants to deport you, but hold up. I say we ruined you with fame, we should at least bear some responsibility in the rehab. But you have to meet us halfway. And by firing everyone around you who ever tells you “no” isn’t a good start. So if the rehab doesn’t work, maybe we can dress you like Amanda Knox and send you to Italy. Two birds, one stone.
The guy is probably smarter than anyone who takes issue with him, in both his formal education and media saavy. When you stick a mike in a guy’s face after a big win when the adrenaline is pumping, you are going to get raw emotion. And guess what…ESPN runs miles of tape in boring interviews to get a snippet like that. It is gold. Classless thug? Why? He never even used profanity. I’ve seen soccer moms lose their minds and manners in ways much worse than this. I am sure those same people were fine when Representative Grimm threatened to throw a reporter off of a balcony. When things calmed down I think he more than redeemed himself….not that I felt he even had to.
The Superbowl Coke ad
There was a reaction to this? OF COURSE there was a reaction to this. Oh beeeeaaaautiful for spacious skies and amber waaaaaves of DERP. America the Beautiful sung in different languages doesn’t sound like it would be controversial, but we forget that the internet has an unusually high contingent of people who are either fans of Ted Cruz or illegitimate children of Ted Nugent, hence the explosion of ZOMG, Cokes hates America. As I tweeted earlier: “People singing “America the Beautiful” in different languages: NOT A PROBLEM. People chanting: “Death to America” in different languages: PROBLEM. Let’s focus on problems.”
Phillip Seymour Hoffman
I rarely comment on celebrity deaths unless they are someone I was REALLY fond of in real life, for example; Kidd Kraddick. I was a long time listener and genuinely saddened by his passing. However, and I don’t mean to sound callous, actors aren’t in a special category of people whose deaths are more tragic to me BECAUSE they are actors. That seems disingenuous to me. I can name a few Hoffman movies and I think the guy was incredibly talented. Very sad, very untimely passing, but I hate the whole post-mortem elevation to untouchable glory that even mediocre actors receive now. I also hate the rush of “concern” over whatever killed the person; in Hoffman’s case, I saw at least 5 articles on heroin usage today, as though this was not a problem brought to light before.
Ugh. Do I have to? Yes. Don’t like the guy. REALLY DON’T LIKE THE GUY. Don’t like his movies, don’t like his weirdo marriage to his stepdaughter-or-whoever-she was and let’s face it….he just LOOKS like a creepy pedophile. Guilty in the court of public opinion? Absolutely. Guilty in real life? If I were on the hypothetical jury, I’d say yes. But I’ve read so much on him that it is hard to know beyond the shadow of a doubt. When a person comes out with allegations suffered as a child, it is true in most cases. Multiple allegations….even MORE credible. But the timing of Dylan Farrow’s letter is suspicious and that is the ONLY reason I hesitate. I know it is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, but in this case, I’d rather err on the side of caution and be proven wrong, that err on the side of compassion for Woody…and be proven wrong. I wish this could be proven or disproven once and for all so that all involved can have some peace. And I’ll say this….it is DESPICABLE that Allen’s been given what seems like a “pass” on these allegations for so long because of his artistic genius (which is overrated IMO, but that is besides the point).
The Olympics in Sochi
Who picks these locations? Couldn’t we just find a place more neutral? What about Switzerland? Isn’t there snow there? I hope I am wrong, but I have a foreboding sense that something bad is GOING to happen. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
St. George Breakaway
Section of EBR Parish not happy with school system. Section breaks away and forms independent school district. School district thrives, those left in the urban core take the hit. It is a story that is now on its’ 4th incarnation with the recent petition from St. George. I’m supposed to be on the “progressive” side of this and say: NO…..the divisions hurt the whole. It’s true that I hate the idea of secession in general…it is a very “tantrum” solution to a set of problems. But you’ve set a precedent EBR. If you’ve let Baker, Zachary and Central go, then prepare for the inevitable. These little fiefdoms are known used to pitching fits and getting their way, whether it is for a larger portion of the pie with BREC, extra (and unfunded) routes from CATS or an independent school system. And with they success (for the most part) that they have demonstrated in doing so, you can’t blame St. George for wanting the same. If I were a parent in that district, my focus what be: “What’s better for me and my family right now?” Because EBR schools aren’t going to improve during the time that my kids would have to spend in the school system. Especially when you are wrought with inept leadership and lowered expectations such as “unlimited test do-overs” now available in some EBR schools. And besides, I’d rather keep kids in a SOME kind of public school system, rather than have them migrate to Jindal’s unregulated, dinosaur-pony education compounds.
David Vitter’s bid for governor of LA
This guy. This. Freaking.Guy. Just go away man, you give me the frissons. Seriously, I don’t even know how he got his seat back in the Senate. I guess there are enough people willing to look past his “sins” because of the shameless pandering he does for his base. Hefty funding and endorsements from the Family Forum helps too. And I do mean shameless….as if we needed a U.S. Senator’s opinion on Duck Dynasty. Seriously, while Mary Landrieu was working on conservation and coastal issues, this clown is defending Phil Roberston. I hardly think that politicians should be held up to some choir boy standard of personal ethics. It is the hypocrisy. The goddamn hypocrisy of a “Family Forum” endorsed, family values hawking liar that gets me bent out of shape. Don’t you dare presume to make judgments, much less laws on womens’ or gay rights while on the phone with your madam ON THE HOUSE FLOOR.
Death Penalty and return of the electric chair
This combines both a local and national issue here. Let me split my thoughts on the two. First….I am pro-death penalty. It is one of the few issues I will actually side with conservatives on. No…scratch that…I am damn near BIBLICAL on this, as in “eye for an eye.” Because if one of my children is ever hurt, I don’t give a shit if the whole world goes blind in my quest for revenge. I am thankful there is a system that will deliver death to a perpetrator. And yet, our SYSTEM in applying the death penalty is by no means perfect. It is rigged towards executing criminals who most likely cannot hire better lawyers. Does that make them any more innocent? No. It just means having more money will most likely get you a better sentence. I hate the idea of an innocent person being executed, but with the science of DNA now available, and the DNA proves guilt, then adios. But in local news today, there was a story about bringing back the electric chair. Apparently there is a shortage in drugs that can deliver death? I find that hard to believe. Regardless, I do think that the ounce of humanity we CAN show murderers that sets us apart from them is to ensure a quick and painless death, which is much more than they give their victims in most cases.
Depressed yet? Time for some fun. You could drop me a line in the comments, OR you can do a quick and painless survey of the issues here: